Empathy

Even on a good day I struggle to stay positive and in a calm mood but something will happen that always gets the best of me. Someone will call me to complain about their day and I’m not saying I don’t want to hear about their lives and their days but I have such deep empathy that them having a bad day upsets me and I can slowly feel all the calm and content being sucked out of me until, by the time I finally get off the phone, I’m more depressed and miserable than some of my bad days. My advice to you is to learn to establish boundaries, for instance if I could get the courage to tell me loved ones that while I’m happy to listen they cannot keep calling me and telling me how miserable they are because it’s negatively affecting my mental health and well being, it would be good for me in the long run. It might make them upset, but if they truly love you they have to care about your well being. The second thing I recommend is to sometimes just turn off your phone. I used to feel panicky whenever I missed a phone call but even when I kept my phone on me and just genuinely decided it wasn’t worth my mental health to answer the call, I felt like a weight was lifted from my soul. I can’t stop how deeply I care or even how I react to things, but I can learn to help myself!

Advice for the ones who bite their nails

I’ve bitten my nails for as long as I can remember and it was painful and bloody. I realized the thing that set me off and encouraged this habit was my nails would be uneven or have something sticking up and I finally realized how to conquer this problem. I bought 2 nail clippers. 1 for the bathroom and 1 to keep with me at all times. Whenever I got the urge to bite my nails I would clip whatever was bothering me and chew on gum or a straw and it took awhile and occasionally I still do it when I’m not thinking, but I have long nails and I haven’t relapsed in over a year. You can do it, and even if you fail it doesn’t mean you’re starting over, it means that you are conquering this step by step and failing is just another step, keep going and don’t give up.

Content

Sometimes things have been wrong for so long that when you finally reach that moment of peace you don’t even realize. I’ve been struggling with so much but I sat down today and thought about it and realized that I’m calm, I’m content, and I’m happy. It comes and it goes but sometimes all you need is that one moment to realize that you can do this. You can. You just have to breathe.

Beginning to Feel.

I’ve found that one of the hardest things in life for me is personal care. How do I take care of my hair, nails, body, etc. How do I eat healthy but also be healthy. My nails are cracked and thin, my hair is falling out and I have dandruff as well as a scalp that constantly itches. I constantly feel like crap and am so depressed that the thought of doing anything is exhausting. Start small, get some cuticle oil and after every shower put some on your cuticles. Maybe start taking some vitamins while you’re at it. It’s so hard but every little step is important. My head is almost never itchy anymore and my hair has stopped falling out, my nails are still not great but I’m trying one step at a time. I found the easiest way to take care of myself and took it. There are electric shower scrubbers which helps a lot, there are herbs that help with body processes and I genuinely have begun to feel better. I still have my off times but I’m still doing the best I can. Food-wise I love fruit, so I buy it pre-cut and get other things like celery and things for sandwiches and salads with spinach. This doesn’t mean I completely cut out snacks I like it just means I limit how much I eat of the snacks. We can do it.

~With love

Winter

HABITS

I have discovered that I am a product of my upbringing. I don’t eat healthy because it takes too much effort to make something. My father is the exact same way. He only eats convenient foods and he’ll only eat if you make him something but if you don’t, he’ll say it’s fine I’m not hungry and go without. It makes you feel like you’re starving him because you didn’t want to make him an extra sandwich. We often don’t realize how much the world around us influences and infects us. We become harsh, and judgmental. We follow like herds of sheep all the latest news and trends. We form our bad habits early and usually from those close to us. It’s a never-ending cycle that isn’t broken until someone recognizes the pattern and takes a stand. I want to be better, happier. I want my soul to be loud and bright and I want it to warm up everyone it shines onto. It is hard for me to feel motivation, instead of dread at the prospect of trying to change my habits because my brain is constantly telling me that I can’t alter anything. The clothes need to be washed at this temperature otherwise they’re wrong. The dishes need to be hand washed or they’re dirty. If anything stays on your skin like ink then it has to be scrubbed off. Logically I know none of those things are true; I know that my brain is forcing me into patterns because that’s the way my neural pathways form, but I look at happy people and their happy marriages and lives and think to myself how much I wish I could let go of all these little things that haunt me. So, I’ll take it one step at a time. Start with something small and slowly alter my routine over time and trick my brain into reforming those pathways so that I can be better. So that I can do better not only for those around me but for myself. I’ve allowed my diseases to control me for a very long time, but as with fire, the more you feed them the more they grow. There are some things you’re born with and can’t change like Autism, but that doesn’t mean you can’t learn to grow and be happy. Learn to work within the boundaries of your problems and you will often come upon innovative solutions. I have a hard time making myself brush my teeth. It’s completely psychological and it stems from my childhood but I can’t do it. So, I tuck my toothbrush and toothpaste in a shelf or something similar by the shower so that I can put shampoo in my hair and leave it while I brush my teeth and then clean everything all at once. Bit by bit I am slowly tricking my brain into thinking that it’s a part of a routine and overall, it will lead to better habits and a happier sense of self. Sometimes you have to make little concessions, but the more you work on it the more solutions will appear.